I’m the type of girl who loves to read…I mean, I REALLY love to read! When I get my hands on a good book, I usually will not put it down for long before finishing it. But for some reason, I don’t read many books during the winter months. I think the depressing weather leaves me a bit uninspired. However, when spring and summer roll around, I typically start a new book almost every week. So, as the weather got super warm last week here in Leipzig, I thought it was the perfect time to crack open my first book of the season! My choice? The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by star blogger, Mark Manson.
While I’m usually not the type to gravitate towards a “self-help” book, this one had me hooked from the start! It seems for years we have been told that positivity is the key to living a happy life. However, this book actually shows us how to stop being positive all the time so we can become happier people. The book is refreshingly honest (a characteristic that is definitely lacking in today’s society), and shows us that by accepting our faults, failures, and pains, we can confront the truth (no matter how uncomfortable) and find what we want out of life.
Today, I’m touching on a few of my favorite points discussed throughout this book, and sharing my thoughts on them. Hopefully, it’ll inspire you to take a look at the way you view your own happiness in life!
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The problem with society today
Each and every day we are led to believe that in order to have a good life, you need more. More of everything! More money, more clothes, more friends…just more! We are constantly bombarded with images and words to make us believe that we should care about everything. However, caring about everything under the sun only makes us get attached to the superficial and fake highs that come with chasing money or material items. Manson claims the real key to life is caring about less and only focusing on what is truly important.
Personally, this is a concept that I struggled with when Ryan and I came to Germany. When we moved here, we came with little to no possessions and it was a struggle for me in the beginning. I felt sort of lost that we didn’t “own” much or have many things to our name. We had a few bags of clothes and personal belongings and that was it! All the extra “stuff” that people usually have was nonexistent to us. However, Ryan and I quickly learned that we didn’t need many things to live a happy life. Suddenly having a car, tons of nice furniture, and the latest gadgets meant nothing to us. We found true happiness in building a life together, adventuring around Europe, and experiencing new things.
Social Media
Like millions of other people out there, I love social media! I love being able to see what my friends and family are up to, as well as creep on a few of my favorite celebrities (no shame, haha). However, the biggest problem with the internet and social media is the fact that it is basically a running feed of highlights from everyone else’s life. You can go on Facebook or Instagram at any given time and see how many of your friends got engaged this week, who got a promotion at work, and which teenager got a brand new car for their 16th birthday.
What social media doesn’t show is the “real” stuff in people’s lives. No one posts photos of them breaking off their engagement, or being fired from that new job, or totaling their brand new car. The negative aspects of people’s lives are usually kept off the internet. The problem with this? It makes you believe that your life isn’t as good as other people’s. While we love the internet and social media to show us a million things we didn’t already know, it also shows us a million ways we don’t measure up.
As I have now dipped my toe into the world of blogging, this is a concept that really hits home for me. I am certainly seeing how social media can be such a great tool, but extremely dangerous at the same time. Looking at another person’s content online (blogger or non-blogger) can be such an inspiration. Whether you are inspired by their personal style, home decor, life advice, or newest adventure, it can be a great asset to your daily life. At the same time, if you are following someone on social media that makes you feel bad about yourself, I highly encourage you to stop following them. I don’t care if it is an old friend of yours or a famous blogger. If they are making you feel less superior, or making you feel like your life isn’t good as theirs, click that unfollow button immediately!
Pain is inevitable
We have to learn to believe that it is perfectly okay for life to totally suck sometimes. Just because we don’t see it online or on social media, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Suffering is inevitable. We must learn how to become comfortable with the crap that life will eventually throw at us and learn how to overcome it. When we finally overcome these obstacles and moments of pain and suffering, that is when we will become happier people. Instead of running from our problems or denying their existence, we should instead be finding the problems worth fighting for.
Personally, Ryan and I chose to have a life in professional sports. Sure, sometimes it is totally and completely amazing. And then, other times it truly sucks. However, we chose to pursue and chase this dream so, to us, the problems that come with this life are worth it. We face the struggle of constantly packing up and moving, being away from our families, missing holidays, and much more. But, these are problems worth solving and overcoming so that we can continue to live out our European adventure.
Care about less and prioritize what to care about
I have two words for you: stop trying! You will never be happy if you are searching for happiness and you will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life…just stop trying. Don’t read this the wrong way, you cannot simply go through life and care about nothing (hello, sociopath). Manson tells us that “not giving a f*ck” doesn’t mean you don’t care about anything. In fact, it means you have to choose what to care about. Furthermore, only direct your f*cks to where they are deserved. It also means that you are willing to take on any challenge thrown your way and you will not let anything get in the way of what you want. It is important for us to discover what our true values are in life and what we believe is a priority.
I feel as though I have just scratched the surface of the genius that is this book! Especially if you’re a millennial like myself, I would suggest you pick up this book immediately! I found it to be the perfect read for someone who is starting out in the “real world” and trying to figure out who they are as an individual as well as what they want out of life. While stepping into our adult lives, it is super important to reorient our expectations for life and choose what is important to us, and what is not. As individuals, we have to be honest with ourselves (even the bad parts) and never try to be anything we’re not.
If you have already read this book, let me know what your thoughts are on it! Do you agree with this new-age way of thinking? Or do you still believe remaining positive is the key to life’s happiness?
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