Okay, so Ryan and I have been talking a lot over the last few months about the way we are viewing our lives. Sounds super weird and corny, I know, but what can I say? It’s just been the topic of our pillow talk as of late. In our own ways, we both kind of had this lightbulb moment recently, and have made a conscious effort to change the way we view our life. We have formed a brand new mindset and changed our outlook on things, so I want to share a little bit about that today! I think no matter what stage you are in in life, this message could be a really good takeaway!
Ever since I have known Ryan
Literally since the day I met him (so I am assuming he has been this way his entire life), he has had this one strong quality about him. I always joke and say that this one characteristic is the best and worst thing about him. Can anyone guess what it is? Well, it is the fact that he is never fully satisfied. And this isn’t really specific to one aspect in particular. It kind of pertains to everything! From where we live to what we own, how he’s doing professionally etc. It’s like he’s never 100% happy and is always searching to have the next best thing, to strive for more, or to be better.
Now, I say that this is the best and worst thing about him because if you’re thinking about it in terms of “life”, it can be a bit sad, don’t you think? Like come on dude…look around at everything you have accomplished, look at all you have done, look at all that you have. Be proud of yourself, man! However, if we’re speaking professionally, I think this is the absolute best quality someone could ever possess. I strongly believe that anyone who has been successful in their profession will tell you this is probably the best trait to have. You know, you will never really get anywhere or be the best at anything unless you strive for excellence. You have to chase perfection. So when I think about it this way, it is what I love most about Ryan.
Take this for example: if you were to sit down with my husband and ask him how he is doing in his athletic career, he would probably say something along the lines of, “Ehh, I haven’t really hit my prime yet. You know, I just haven’t ‘made it’ yet.” Like, WHAT?! What is wrong with you dude?! You could literally buy the FIFA video game and play as Ryan Malone! It’s this sort of mindset that I’m not quite sure I will ever understand haha.
And I will add that while I am talking a lot about Ryan right now, he’s not alone in this.
I do it too! I tend to have this same mindset in the big picture of our life. For the past 6 years now, basically since the day we made the move to Germany, I have been sort of stuck in thinking that this life of ours is temporary. Like somehow our actual life is on hold while we are living here. And to be honest, I don’t even know why I think this! Just because we are not settled somewhere or don’t own a house yet? It’s so silly. For some reason it feels like I have been sitting around waiting for our life to begin. Simply because we are transient people and move around a lot. And when you think about it, that’s so stupid! Like hello, we are in our life. We are already living it. This is it!
I feel like this goes along with the mindset that so many of us have. The one that sounds a little bit like, “I will be happy when I get into college. Then I will be happy when I get a job. Then I will be happy when I get married, have kids, buy a house, have a large savings…etc.” Someday you will realize that you just spent your whole life waiting for the next best thing. Whereas instead, you could have spent it enjoying where you are and being grateful for what you have in the moment.
With that being said, this sort of thinking that both Ryan and I have had lately, while it may sometimes be beneficial, is not always the best mindset to have in the long run or in the big picture of life. In a way, it has kind of been toxic in our life, especially over the last couple of months. I think the fact that we haven’t had the easiest year soccer-wise has definitely played a role in this situation. But, the bottom line is that it simply isn’t healthy for us. So therefore, WE have both made a conscious decision to make a mindset adjustment.
Our mindset shift
We honestly just sat down one day and decided to say, “Nope, we’re not doing this anymore.” Let’s wake up every single day and practice gratitude. We are choosing to take a hard look at our life and be proud of what we have done, what we have accomplished, what we have, and just be satisfied with the present moment. I think we have to learn to throw our arms up in the air and enjoy the ride we’re on.
Let’s wake up every single day and practice gratitude. We are choosing to take a hard look at our life and be proud of what we have done, what we have accomplished, what we have, and just be satisfied with the present moment. I think we have to learn to throw our arms up in the air and enjoy the ride we’re on.
And I know this may sound like common sense to a lot of people, but to us it wasn’t! We had to make a conscious effort to not focus so much on “looking ahead” and just relish in the present. To really live in the moment and enjoy where we are right now. And don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean we are going to stop striving to be better, because that just isn’t us! But, maybe we do have to learn to take a few steps sideways every once in a while.
Since having this discussion with one another, we both have experienced such positive changes in our ourselves and in the way we view things. We personally feel happier and somehow more in control of our life. It was honestly the best thing we could have done for our mental health this year!
